Ti hei mauri ora. Adversity is an integral part of life. And it is how one handles difficulty that reveals ones mana (character). Yesterday my mana was severely tested (and to be honest I am still feeling the effects right now) and I can honestly say the future of this Feature Film was once again put to the test. In other words I felt like giving in, giving up, going home. Because I am only here in rat city, Tamaki Makaurau...Auckland, to make my movie! I left behind a beautiful whanau whare...family house where I live right next to Omamari beach! No noise, except the sea. Beautiful walks on a isolated moana...sea shore. Heaps of kai moana...sea food. And for what? Ha ha ha. A concrete jungle. Constant noise and rude aggro people (not everyone of course, but enough! Ha ha ha). Pollution. No where to go and just chill, relax, focus. And I made this sacrifice (jeez I sound like a martyr ha ha ha) to make Te Toa...The Warrior. Because this is the FINAL chance. This time it is ALL or NOTHING. Either it is successfully completed, or, I will NEVER, EVER try again. Seriously. I have worked on making this happen, by myself basically, for five years now. No outside funding etc. But that is ok, it is how it should be, as in essence it is my dream. I wrote the script, I have visualized it, it's essence is permeated deep down into my heart and soul. Above all, I passionately and unequivocally desire to make it. To make this beautiful taonga tapu...sacred treasure into a dream from reality. And as I have said before, that is fucken hard to do, to turn a dream, especially a big one, into reality! Because between a dream and reality is what I have always defined as the abyss. And the abyss is made up of one's fears, doubts, flaws of character, obstacles, lack of money etc. etc. etc. The list is endless really! Ha ha ha. And for many people, and many dreams, this is where their dreams DIE. Literally. Whew (big exhale). So I can choose to give up and go home, which I know if I did, deep down in my ngakau me wairua...heart and soul where the truth resides, it would eat away at me and leave me with a PROFOUND sense of disappointment and frustration. And I know what that feels like, as one of my former big dreams was to go over to Syria and make a doco about the war there. But, for various reasons, even though I tried my very best to make it happen, it never did. And to this day that failure has haunted me. But, I try not to dwell on the failures of the past, but rather the possible successes of the future. So, I am not going to let this dream die. No. Not this dream. This time I am going to overcome the abyss and make it happen. Ae...yes! Everything has been falling into place and there is now a real energy, a real flow. I have the basic micro low budget I need, which means I have the professional sound and camera equipment required. I also have a excellent cast as well. So for their sake, it has to be made as well. Just to respect all the time, energy and effort they have been putting in. Plus of course all my own time, energy and effort I have been put in, unpaid, over the last five years, and of course the very real sacrifice of moving from beautiful Omamari beach to rat city and also selling my much loved V6 Holden Commodore ex-polce car to finance this dream will all have been in vain! Ha ha ha. So what am I going to do? Keep on keeping on. Ka pai.
We had a excellent Team Hui...meeting yesterday and read through of certain scenes. I was very impressed with the quality of the actors involved, it being our first read through. So kia-ora to everyone who came. We will be shooting the first scenes in April and hopefully filming will be wrapped by the end of May. Now that everything is starting to flow, there is a real energy and excitement flowing. I am really looking forward to shooting the first scenes and so over the next two weeks will be going hard to get everything in place so the shoot goes effortlessly and to a professional standard. Ka pai.